Also by this author: Ready to Were, Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned, #1), Witch Glitch
What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking to agree to this half arsed Otherworld Defense Agency mission?
I’m the most absurdly good looking Vampire Pirate of the High Seas. Being on the run for my life is very important work… and a freaking full time job. Defending Mermaids from some vicious Sea Hags is going to cut into my pilfering time.
Even though this is a very bad move on my part, I know I’ll eventually agree—too many bounties on my arse to refuse, and the thought of a certain Mermaid makes my roger quite jolly.
However, Tallulah, the leader of the Mystical Isle Pod of Mermaids, isn’t going to be happy to see me… at all. The horrible, sexy, breathtaking woman has been starring in my dreams for too many years to count. Sadly, just when my mind wanders to the really good nookie part, the dream ends with her lopping my Johnson off.
I just hope to Hell and back that the Sea Hags have some outstanding booty to steal. If I’m going to have to regrow my tallywhacker, the treasure had better damned well be worth it.
Tallulah Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan—until it wasn’t. With the Sea Hags gunning for our island and ruining our questionably successful business, I did what any desperate Mermaid would do. I called for backup.
Of course, getting help from the Otherworld Defense Agency is risky as they don’t usually deal with ocean creatures. Whatever. Desperate times call for crappy measures. Chances are they’ll send freaking Pirates. I hate Pirates…
Well, I hate one Pirate in particular.
Hopefully, it won’t be the one seafaring jackhole I despise more than any other. Pirate Doug would be an idiot to show his face here after what he’d done. Not only did the dumbass abscond with our treasure, the son-of-a-bitch took my heart with him as well.
I’ll tear his sorry ass to shreds if he so much as steps even one hairy toe on my island.
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I like mermaids, not as much as one of my high school classmates. She actually believed she was a mermaid, and I think that she has tattoos of mermaids on her. I like the idea of the good mermaids, not the bad ones where the history of them come from. They are mythologically vicious, man eating, tyrants of the sea. I don’t like that version of them. I am more of the little mermaid Disney style. Well these ladies aren’t either of those.
Tallulah is a mermaid who is protecting her island from the Sea Hags which are horrible, repulsive, self procreating baddies who want to take over other spaces for their own. Pirate Doug is a vampire pirate who is a thief. A pirate and a thief who is not honorable at all. He sexes and pillages as he goes. Tallulah is actually one of his conquests, one that he regrets leaving a bit. By regrets I mean she threatened to cut of his man parts and he doesn’t want to have to regrow them. Oh yeah as a vampire he can regrow body parts, including arms, legs, man parts.
This is a raunchy book. There is cursing, there is name calling, there is nasty Sea Hags. You know all the things that good paranormal romance books have. You don’t mess with Tallulah, not because she is a mermaid, but also because she is a woman not to mess with. Neither are her sisters, also mermaids, and also strong in their own right.
I liked it, but I also didn’t like it. I liked the plot and the overall story. That part was good. I got tired of all the poo jokes, and the fact that the Pirate couldn’t remember someone’s name throughout the entire book. Like seriously at the beginning it was funny, but then there was just so much, it was just tiresome. I really like the shade comments about mermaids being sluts. Historically that is what they were, assuming they actually slept with the sailors before they killed them.
So it has its good and bad parts in my opinion, but I think the story overall is good and it is worth the read. There were just small things that I didn’t particularly like, and others may feel differently.