Grandpa Steiner Saves the World (from Illegal Aliens (from Space))


Grandpa Steiner Saves the World (from Illegal Aliens (from Space))

By: Eric Muss-Barnes
Genres: Fiction
Pages: 312
Publisher: Dubh Sith Ink
Published on: May 1st 2015
Grandpa Steiner Saves the World (from Illegal Aliens (from Space))

Grandpa Steiner offends everyone. He doesn't mean to. It just happens. During his youth, his attitudes were commonplace and perfectly acceptable. As the conventions of society change around him, and more and more of his opinions become derided as obsolete, Grandpa Steiner decides to start a blog, to vent his frustrations upon the Internet. Little does Grandpa Steiner know, when a race of space aliens secretly decide to obliterate mankind, they regard his blog as the only redeeming quality of humanity. Grandpa Steiner inadvertently causes the aliens to reconsider, thereby sparing the world from annihilation. But when his popular essays cause a media backlash and his family convinces Grandpa Steiner to stop his politically incorrect rants, will the prevailing "culture of damn sissies" spell doom for the Earth?

This book may be unsuitable for people under 17 years of age due to its use of sexual content, drug and alcohol use, and/or violence.
 
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This is probably one of the craziest and best books I’ve ever read. If I were a different person, there is a chance I would be offended, so just know up front that this book is NOT for everyone. If you are offended by race issues, the 2nd amendment, immigration issues, sexual orientation discussion, or pretty much anything we are told is important by the media right now, don’t read this book. BUT…if you can read with an open mind and understand deeper than just the surface of what you are reading to the underlying reasoning behind it, and have a real sense of humor, give it a chance.

 

Grandpa Steiner may seem like just another crabby, offensive old man, but there is really much more to him than it originally appears. What starts out as a crude comment to the security guard in the grocery store turns into a national headline and the possible end of the human race.

 

I loved every single page of this book. If there was a topic that people find offensive in our society today, Grandpa Steiner talks about it. He does more than talk about it though, there is reasoning behind his words that many would be entirely put off by. His knowledge of the 2nd amendment goes beyond what most people use for their pro or anti gun arguments. His reasoning behind race issues is much more than just another racist old white man. While I may not support  some of his arguments, I do understand where he is coming from with them. Some of what he says are things I would love to say if I weren’t afraid of being publicly crucified and losing half of my friends.

 

There are illegal aliens in this book. Illegal space aliens, that is. I’m not a fan of aliens. I hate space aliens. Seriously, they are one of my biggest fears, right up there with robots and people without faces. That being said, the aliens are an important part of this book, and despite my very specific fear hatred of them, I still loved every offensive minute. I honestly could have kept reading for at least 300 more pages had there been that many. Usually aliens in a book are an immediate turn off for me, but in this case it wasn’t at all. Grandpa Steiner is more about the humans in the book than the aliens.

 

Essentially, I’m not sure who I would recommend this book to. I have a few friends that I know would definitely not be offended, as they have the same twisted sense of humor that I do. If you do read this book, remember…IT’S NOT REAL. The issues may be, but it really isn’t anything other than fiction. It’s a fun read if you can read it without worrying about being politically correct. Our world is already full of offended people and everyone trying to push their own agenda’s on each other. I laughed my butt off while reading this and I hope you will too. If not, I’m sorry, but I’m not sure we can be friends anymore!

 

5 fangs

 

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About Eric Muss-Barnes

Raised by the 1940's swingkid generation of his maternal grandparents, Eric Muss-Barnes grew up 2500 miles outside of Los Angeles; has spent years working at Walt Disney Studios; piloted hang gliders over 6000 feet above the Earth; dated fashion models, rockstar goddesses and glamazon actresses; been thrown and dragged by horses (arguably similar to his dating experiences); earned a living as an American Greetings toymaker and a Hollywood game designer; ridden motorcycles through mountains and desert sandstorms (make that "over" mountains, he's not Buckaroo Banzai); produced, directed and edited music videos and an award-nominated film; briefly wed a tattooed MENSA astrophysicist chick; crewed on an Academy Award nominated movie; skateboarded in pools all around California with XGames medalists; written an epic series of vampire novels; photographed numerous Playboy models and sold his images in art galleries; been published in multiple fiction/non-fiction anthologies; served 12 years hard time in parochial schools; and created and programmed a blog called InkShard where you can see videos and essays about his life as a writer.

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